Validation via hatemail.

I don't mind if you hate me. That's perfectly fine. As a matter of fact, anyone hating me, makes me feel like more of a person. Larger than life, per se. Getting past the neutrality into real emotions like hate and love, that's real validation. When you pay attention enough to find things about me that you don't like, that means you're paying more attention to me than I am to you. I don't mind anyone hating me. It makes me feel more important than the hater. You have no idea how I am on cloud nine when amoungst a barage of compliments, I find a few lone hate messages. Makes my damn day.

Finding stuff like this:
"ur one of the most self absorbd people ive ver met, u think u hav such a horriblelife, when u hav no clue what a horrible life is. your annoyin when u dont know when to shutup and ur repulsive heres the truth and i am not the only person who feels this way about u. stop actin so obxinous nd u might find that people will stop sayin shit behind ur back"
that's gold for me. For one thing, I just feel so much more intelligent. And otherwise, I just love that someone could be that negative to someone they never talk to. The people I actually talk to, they don't hate me. They're the only people I care for anyways.

A) I'm probably self-absorbed, but who isn't? Whoever tries not to be, they're still being selfless for their own gain. Even someone like Mother Theresa, who spent a large portion of her life helping poor Indians, she gave of herself, and got her name in the books while she was at it.

B) Ha! I never say that my life (my home, my family, my lifestyle, etc) are horrible. The only part I ever bitch about is the part in my head. The part I can't control and the part you can't see. I don't expect anyone to understand or want to see how horrible that part is. Yet I still realise, that other people are still worse off than me in that respect, and I thank God every day for that.

C) I'll shutup when someone else comes up with something intelligent to say.

D) I'm only repulsive to people who don't approve of my lifestyle. It's not even that bad. So, go eat shit, I'm a lot classier than most of the people my age.

E) Obnoxious? This makes me laugh, considering that this was most likely written by a freshman girl who doesn't ever talk to me. Freshman girls are some of the most obnoxious people I've ever met. And people who don't know me, almost always think I'm "obnoxious" before they talk to me, but once they do talk to me, they end up thinking I hung the moon.

F) Talk behind my back all you want, you're talking about me. See if I mind.

Love,
Marlena